My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
Who died my cat blue again?
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
