So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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