Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
Randomize
