I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
