You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
