You were right. It hurts to walk today.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
