At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
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