I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Randomize
