Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
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