I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Randomize
