are you still at the devil's house?
I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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