Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
