so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
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