Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
