I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
my sisters under your porch take her home
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Randomize
