Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
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