I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Randomize
