Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
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