Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize