Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
Randomize
