ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she told me i tasted like america
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Randomize