WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
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