I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Randomize