Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
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