i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
