Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Randomize