What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Randomize
