the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Randomize
