why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
Randomize
