I don't usually arrange sex via text message
I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
