I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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