38 yer olds are good kisserssss
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Randomize
