What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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