I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Randomize