so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
My pussy is not your playground.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Randomize
