everyone is single if you try hard enough
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
Randomize
