Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Everything about him screamed your future.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
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