btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
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