I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
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