At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
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