I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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