Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
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