he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
