your thong is hanging out like whoa
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize