Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize
