Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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