like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Randomize