So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
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