I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
