she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
