I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
