Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
this boner is exhausting
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
