The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Randomize
