He asked to "fluff my boner.."
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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