this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
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