what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
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