So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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