**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
