I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
