Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
