I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Randomize
