Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
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