I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Randomize
