I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize
